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[04 Mar 2006|08:04am] |
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fort minor : tools of the trade |
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i could live in the clouds forever, away from the world.
vegas was dope. well, it was a rollercoaster for me personally for different reasons but in the end, i did have a good time. i hope minga did, too.
i really want to get out of the house but it's only 8:12 and i know no one is awake yet.
everyday is grey and i walk around with an upset stomach. it's really sickening, i just don't see a point in pretty much anything right now. i'm not a stranger to this feeling at all either. i just wish it would go away and not return.
i'm just sick of life and the heartache that comes with it. i'm sick of the same old routine. i'm sick of feeling distant from everyone and everything. i'm sick of having so many people around me but no one i want to talk to, 'cause there's no one i can relate to or click with anymore. the last person i did click with is hooked on someone else.
but enough of that emo bullshit. i need to get thaaafuckout today. and finish mfs.
new HED on may 16.
fuck everyone, kenn
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| i just want your company... take me with you |
[13 Feb 2006|06:48pm] |
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(hed) p.e. - Bartender |
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 lmao
so here where's i am. i'm bored as a mutha so i'm updating this thing.
where to start... what the fuck has been going on in my life? lol
amanda and i are currently not together, and i don't need to go into any more detail. she knows i love her, she's my soulmate... but we can't be together right now.
i performed a song called "the movement" on friday at paths. i haven't come up with a name for my cd yet, i'm thinking made from scratch because that's how everything's come together. i made all the beats, and obviously wrote all the lyrics... well, that's what i can say when i finish it 'cause i haven't finished the beats and lyrics.
i can't remember what i did friday afternoon... wait, nevermind, i remember. hung out with ashley and dylan, and smoked so fucking much with ashley. that's why i couldn't remember.
NO!! i did that thursday... lol. friday was the night dylan and i went to the mall and back to his house like 6 times to get his PS2 working. and i saw bre, alyssa, dan, and ian.
no, not ian stewart, fortunately. lol
saturday morning, i was forced to go to "smoke free saturday" at the s. portland pig station. 8:30 to 1:30, holy shit. basically, it was a waste of time and money, but i got free food and met one helluva cool chick named chelsea whom i have to smoke with someday in the future.
saturday night consisted of a great fucking night with 'the family.' dylan, chris, sadie, dustin, tori, and myself had dinner and cheeeeeilled at tori's in portland. i love those people, it's ridiculous that we all have such a chemistry considering that was the second time we got together. it's so chill. dustin's funny as fuck, tori's just the fucking man, and, well, sadie is a breath of fresh air because her personality is so pure, which i can't think of many people like that. she's someone i know i could trust.
sunday i hung out with amanda marie currier. it was a good time, i like where we are at the moment. that lady is my best friend. well, one of them.
i got a car. i'm so fucking excited. it's a very dark green '95 honda civic... sunroof included. i love it.
tomorrow is valentine's day. blah. but it's looking like it'll be a good day. the morning should consist of acacia and i getting blazed and eating cookies at voc, lol. then i'm going to old orchard with minga. oh god, it's going to be cold.
then wednesday, i'm hopefully chilling with keesha and jenny garls. friday, amanda, myself, and my parents leave for vegas. we come back at the end of vacation. that's going to be a blast.
i said what i said and if ya don't like it fuck ya! love, kenn
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[01 Feb 2006|10:30pm] |
i had a dream tasha was pushing us to get back together. she would tell me about the good times we used to have and i'd be like yeah... then a second later i'd turn my back to her and cut myself. of course, tonight was the night i died in my sleep so... heh, yeah ^_^
- kenn
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[30 Jan 2006|10:34pm] |

hey... um... i'm cold as fuck. but!!!! life is okay. i bought a sweet bowl today. it's wooden and it folds up. i love it!!!
hmmm amanda currier.
- kenn
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[25 Jan 2006|06:13pm] |
to anyone i've ever hurt. i sincerely apologize.
i'm so grateful to be alive...
now i'm just trying to cope as well as i can... and i'm rediscovering some people that have cared for me all this time that i've ignored...
- kenn
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[28 Dec 2005|09:32am] |

hmmm, well this vacation is going alright i suppose. pretty cheeill. i got my recording microphone, i plan to be putting that to use soon. i finally have my cell phone back.
i don't know what else to write.
fuck you.
- kenn
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[16 Dec 2005|04:15pm] |

update on kenn's life as of december 16. - tomorrow's my last day of community service. - i got minga's christmas gifts. - i need to get a few other people gifts. - i need to complete a beat and lyrics for a song that is to be performed in one week. - i need to do all of chapter 6 in algebra 2 by monday.
lol
- kenn
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[10 Dec 2005|08:47am] |

i will probably be posting these more often because i've rediscovered their tendencies to amuse me.
anyway, i did my first of four days of community service. it was great, lol. it's at the buxton transfer station, and... well, i'll spare the story, here's the bottom line.
i work with 3 guys. greg, fred, and chris. all somewhere in their twenties. and we're all potheads who have a sick sense of humor, it's fucking great.
i might try to get a job there in the spring. $11.65 an hour?? sweet!! but they're only open 3 days a week, and i'd have to work part time until the summer. so basically, if i can't find a steady job, i'll be working there. and it'll be a blast.
only one person of the ten i "tagged" or whatever yesterday even did it. i'm h8ed.
i'm also bored as fuck and need a smoke badly.
- kenn
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| LIFE |
[09 Dec 2005|11:06pm] |
i've edited this post about nineteen times.
looking back on this year, i have to say that i'm really happy with myself. like, i feel so much better about myself as a person. i'm as honest as i've ever been now. i see no reason to hide things anymore. i'm very content with who i am, i don't worry about not having a place to fit in like i did in the beginning of the year. i don't know what it is but i feel like i'm actually myself for the first time in forever. the person you've known for the past couple of months is the realest version of me you've seen. all of you. even if you don't know it, i know someone must. chris knows i'm the most comfortable with myself now, he mentioned that in like october i think. i feel like i've matured a GREAT amount. actually, i don't believe in maturity. let me rephrase that, i feel like i'm the best person i can possibly be at this point in my life.
it's so refreshing to feel this way. i just feel very in touch with who i am.
i still have my flaws but who doesn't?
this year has definetely had it's ups and downs. but i've survived them all and just become stronger in the process.
i've met, gotten really close to and grown very distant from some great people. the last one i kind of wish wasn't the case. i regret the person i was in the first few months of this year. i just want to apologize to whoever i may have hurt or pushed away. ever, not just in this year.
it's a learning process, this life.
on another note, i start my community service tomorrow. at the redemption center in standish. or buxton, lol, i don't fucking know. 7:30-8. my choice, i want to just move on from this thing. i'll have all 20 hours by next saturday. thanks to my dad helping my make a good impression on the authorities, (well, the best impression a juvenille can make on authorities) and the fact that i'll have my community service done so fast, i think they may drop my court date. wish me luck.
see? this whole incident is an example of the fact that i still have my flaws. :P
and dylan tagged me with this thing. ( here. )
goodnight, all.
- kenn
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| SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT |
[06 Dec 2005|12:09am] |
i don't know why i type such huge entries, i always cut them down to like 4 lines in the end.
i got caught shoplifting at the mall. 3 shirts = 40 hours of community service, a 2-page essay, and an apology letter to jc penney. i've got a court date january 26th as well.
not worth it. no more stealing. at the mall anyway... for a while, lol.
my parents know i smoke. pot and butts. they disapprove.
the end.
- kenn
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[24 Nov 2005|12:07pm] |
thanksgiving.
a day where we, as a country, sit down, eat a shitload of food, and fall asleep.
sounds like a normal day in america to me!
i mean, seriously, wtf. why can't we recognize what we're thankful for EVERY day, as opposed to just one day in november?
i am thankful for my family. my family consists of amanda, my blood-related, and my real friends.
i am also thankful for music, obviously, and the styles that derive from it. i am thankful for the rock star lifestyle. for the hip hop culture. and the punk rock "fuck you" state of mind.
i am thankful for being blessed with the gift of creation. art is a beautiful thing, in every form it comes in. i am thankful for having a voice.
i am thankful for having a home and being able to sleep in a warm bed every night. well, not last night. but i am thankful for having a home when there are people who don't.
i am thankful for being who i am, myself. i am thankful for being alive.
i am thankful for betrayal, hatred, pain, suffering, depression. all things that i have experienced. just in the last year even. these emotions teach you lessons, and motivate you. thank you to anyone who has caused me these feelings.
i am thankful for loyalty, love, happiness. all things that i have experienced. especially in the past half year.
thank you to anyone who's been a part of my life.
and yeah, i know you're waiting for it.
i'm thankful for all the dirty things i engage in. sex, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol. *rolls eyes*
i am thankful. everyday of my life. even if i don't express it,... everyday of my life.
- kenn
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[14 Nov 2005|02:27pm] |
so i'm getting kind of bored with voc. we're all getting a little sick of our teacher as well.
i used to say i was only staying in because i liked the other students but i'm not really that keen on all of them as i used to be. i'm still grateful for whom i have met in the class. luke, dave b, dave v, chandra, becca, and trista are really cool. the others are just kind of there, i mean i like them but i haven't really bonded (i dunno if that's the right word for it) with them. and of course shane's there, i like him. and i've met jake, who i think is one of the coolest fucking people i've ever met.
bonny eagle still sucks. ssdd, you know? i try so hard to care, or even pretend i care, but i can't even do that anymore. i'm just trying to pass. i don't want to go to college, i just want to get my music thing going. you don't have to go to college if you want to be successful, alot of people don't understand that.
speaking of music, jake and i might be doing something. he's such a cool motherfucker, he's definetely someone i could be in a band with for a long time. i feel like i could connect with him.
other than that, things are great. i love amanda so much, i'm so fucking happy i'm with her.
the only other thing that sucks is that i've been dry for about six years now. i got baked and then a little vodka buzz at allie's last thursday. what a fucked up night. we smoked with fucking chris hardy, of all people, last night. hopefully, minga and i will hook up with chip tonight and we'll smoke that blunt he promised us.
i feel weird talking about weed and shit in here 'cause it makes me feel like i'm one of those kids who brag about shit like that to be cool, but it's my livejournal and it's what i want to talk about and it's what i do, so fuck you, kenn, say whatever you want.
minga's making me a pizza bagel so i should probably go.
keep the peace love and equality express yourself and keep it real
funny how "keep it real" still applies even if it was a trendy phrase.
peace - kenn
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